MYLOVE,FUNG

"RAYMOND"

Lim Su-Qi. Apparently an Extrovert.


Dislike Contradiction.
Likes Nothingness.



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Sometimes when things don't go your way and you get frustrated, it's inevitable that you'll end up spouting words that you do not mean. Words that aren't meant to hurt the other party and yet it still does. Words that can be razor sharp and leave the other party feeling nothing but pain and hurt. Yes, you will feel remorseful about it, and even be apologetic about it, but would it ease the pain and suffering that the other party is going through?

The pain inflicted on them may not have been your ultimate aim, but in your ultimate quest of justifying each and every point of yours, you end up hurting them over and over again. Sometimes, perhaps you should just slow down and think about whatever has been happening, don't end up regretting and feeling remorseful about doing or saying something that you never meant.

What I went through today was not a major matter, but my tears just rolled down uncontrollably. Perhaps all the fault lies with me, perhaps I'm really the spoilt and unreasonable one, but sometimes can't you just stop and think about me? I do have feelings too you know, there are times that I feel vexed and tired out, but noone ever cares. I know that everyone is preoccupied with their lives and I don't want to seem as if I'm imposing on them.

It wouldn't hurt you just to ask if I'm okay right? I know I am apparently the least problematic of this family, but I also do need time on my own. I do have a life to lead, I do have things that I want to achieve in life. My life doesn't only revolve around you guys. Perhaps trying to be the best kid sometimes does have its negative points. Expectations of me get higher and when I fail to attain it, WHAM-BAM, I'm condemned to nothing. Really nothing. All I can say is I'm sorry if I cannot reach your expectations. I know that I've failed.

It's not that I want to give up sometimes, but you just make it all too difficult for me to take. When you say you wanna leave everything behind and leave once and for all, do you not know that such similar thoughts have also passed through my mind before? Everytime I hear you saying such stuff, I can't help but wonder, what if one day, I put your thoughts into action and leave once and for all.

I guess I just need time to understand everything that is going around me. I would not do anything reckless or stupid because I know that there are people out there who care.

`Just needed a place to rant my frustrations. Sorry if this posting actually affects any one of you. I'm sorry.

Sometimes I wonder if I could just stop whatever I'm doing and yell, "Fuck, I've had enough." And then walk off. If only I had the courage to do the stuff that I wanted. If only I didn't need the financial support that I'm getting. If only I was not born into this world, if only I wasn't born into this family.

There are so many What Ifs in this world, but perhaps I should just accept all these crap and move on, pondering and harping on it won't do me any good, so just MOVE ON. Crap, sometimes I feel as if this world has nothing worth my second thoughts. Nothing worth me living for, this is it.

It's time to go.

Hmm, let's see. It has been SO long since I last stepped in Blogger. Reading and looking back on the postings that I made in the past never fails to make me smile at the naivety and how trivial the matters that I went through last time. Those were the days that can be considered nothing as compared to what I've been going through these days. Life in S.P. is unofficially over, and I'm currently at a cross road of my life. Where should I go? What should I do? Where could I be heading? It's all a huge question mark.

As I ever said, I would do a detailed posting on each and every one of my good pals that have influenced me one way or another, those who have a significant impact and were there when I needed them the most, it's a time of dedication to you guys.

Let's start the ball rolling with my dearest,

Liu Ailing - Ahh! I bet she's feeling honoured for being the first to be mentioned! But don't be too happy, because I'm gonna do this according to AGE! WHEEHAHA! Okay, enough of making fun of ya, hee. I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for approaching me on the very first day of school. Thanks for drawing me into you life, thanks for being there when I was feeling moody and down, thanks for allowing me to rant all my frustrations and scream at times, thanks for taking in all my nonsensical ramblings and sometimes acceding to my demanding requests, but I do know that deep down, you do know that you are important to me! I love ya for who you are and love ya for whatever you have done for and with me. Thanks alot for accepting me for who I was at first and changing me into who I am now. Thanks.

Go Rin See - MY ONLY CLOSE M_L_Y_I_A_ friend! AHAHHAHA! You can fill in the blanks and see what you end up with. The skinny and weak girl that happens to be the ONLY SKINNY ONE in my clique. You are the one that I randomly call to disturb, you are the one that can actually put up with all my nonsense and play along with me. You are the one that I constantly have to remind to be more confident and to speak up. You are the one whom which I have to drag along to outings. You seldom reject any of my offers to go out and that's what I love about you. HAHA! Whenever I wanted to disturb Ailing, you were always there supporting me in my quest of DISTURBING HER. Hee. Even though we are gonna be going our separate ways very soon, I hope that we can still keep in touch with each other and constantly update each other about our recent happenings. OKAY?

Lim Hui Zhen - XIAO FAT CONGGGG! I still am pretty fascinated at how we ended up being so close to one another. I still believe it all began with FYP getting us all worked up and frustrated that we actually really began to find that our thinking and point of views are pretty much the same. Even though we have only begun our friendship since August 2009 last year, I still think that our friendship runs deep. You are one of the important ones that have always been there for me whenever I needed to rant and complain. You were there comforting me, telling me that everything will be okay, and time is the essence of healing. You picked me up when I fell, and taught me alot of things with regards to life. And most importantly, YOU are the only 02 fella that I'm so close to! Thanks for accepting all my flaws and still consider me ya friend. I know that your criteria for selection of friends is pretty high and I am really honoured to be considered one of your good pals. =)

Muhd - AHAH! I bet he's gonna be pretty shocked that his name is actually appearing, but COME ON MUHD, you know that I don't only regard you as a photographer! HAHA! You have always been the resourceful one in our group and you NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH! You were the FIRST by which I BESTOWED the devilish side on, and you seem to be pretty proud of it. You evoked the evil twin in me, and I still cannot forget it till this day. Hee. You were there with me, during Geomatics with Pz, laughing at the interactions btw. Ling and Ren, looking at the two squabble and quarrel, eating our imaginary popcorn, and silently chanting, " JIE HUN JIE HUN". Those were the days, man. I'd also like to thank you for laughing alongside with me and constantly trying to keep the spirits up and high. Without you, the IMPORTANT CLASS REP., I bet that DEWT wouldn't be so united as how it is like today.

Song Peizhen - BLACK FACED, DAO KIA, YA-YA fella. HAHAHA! That was the first impression I had of this small-sized but SUPER-DUPER tanned gal. Back in Year 1, we really had nothing to say to each other, whenever our "bridge" Miss Liu was missing in action, we would just have a super quiet journey back home. I only got to know you more in Year 2 and I have never regretted the decision of opening up and wanting to learn more about you. You helped me through the 7 weeks of ITP at Nan Wah, you knew when I was upset and tried to comfort me, somehow or other, you just knew my mood for that day and you would accomodate me with regards to how I was feeling that day. I appreciate your efforts for sustaining this friendship and I really extend my sincerest gratitude for lending a helping hand in all my studies. Whenever I got frustrated and actually feel like giving up, you were there to tell me to try harder, you would explain till I understood what you actually meant. For that, I thank you and hope that our paths may continue to cross each other in future. =D

Che Zi Yang - Buddy ah Buddy. The one that seems to be close to me because of... HAHA! Actually to date, I have no idea how we ended up being so close to each other. The golden rule of One SMS per day. You are the only guy that I'm pretty close to even though we are seldom in the same project group. BUT, I'm still pretty glad that I have you as my Buddy. You are always the one that never fails to entertain me at night when I'm bored, the one who NEVER gives in to me, the one who always assume that I'm in search of a RICH and HANDSOME guy, but your antics never fail to put a smile on my face. You have always been there for me whenever I was feeling moody or irritated at the slightest stuff. Always there to cheer me up whenever you could tell that I wasn't happy through the tone of my SMS-es. *Ahh, the wonders of SMS. The one that always gives me a very FORCED smile when I tell ya to be more friendly and to smile more. I thank you for always looking out for me and claiming to protect me if someone wants to hit me. HAHA! I thank you for being there, buddy, THANK YOU!

Lim Renhui - Fellow Lim ah Fellow Lim. The fierce and dark army-looking guy. The one that seldom smiles, seeing a smile on his face is even tougher than finding a 50 dollar bill on the floor. LOL! The one that got me PRETTY frustrated when he lost my pencil case, but perhaps I should let bygones be bygones. Thanks for playing an important role in my life for being an excellent group member. Thanks for backing me up TOO in my quest of disturbing Ailing. You are constantly on the go to tease me about certain stuff, BUT without your never-ending teasing and poking fun, I bet my life in S.P. wouldn't have been so entertaining and eventful. I have to commend you for your fantastic PPT skills and you certainly do have your ways of working wonders with your laptop. LOL. Even though we may be going VERY different and separate ways, I hope that we would still be able to keep in touch with one another. Fellow Lims unite eh? =)

That's all, folks. Those abovementioned are those that have always been there to help me up and those who have impacted me greatly. It seems that all of us may be going our separate ways in future but I really do treasure my friendship with each and every one of you. You guys are the best pals that one can ever find in a lifetime.

I sincerely thank each and everyone from the bottom of my heart and actually no words can be actually sufficient to illustrate the extent of gratitude that I have towards each and every one of you.

Thanks for being there when I needed you guys the most, and here I'd like to wish every one of you all the best for your future endeavours.

Cheers,
Qi.

Hmm, is it that often that I feel that nostalgic? I have no idea what's up with my pea brain lately. Every small little issue can send ripples and affect my mood tremendously. School has commenced for close to 2 weeks and I can already feel that it's taking its toll on me. How fragile can I be, I wonder..

Have been sick to close to 2 weeks now, counting back, that means I've been sick ever since school just started! I've had the blocked nose, dry cough and fever, which then evolved into the runny nose, phlegm cough and now, it has morphed into the ultimate sore throat and ulcers. How much worse can I fare.. Thought of coming up with a cheery and happy post to boost my mood but this seems to be coming out all the wrong way.

My friends around me have been very supportive. I know that they will be there for me whenever I need them. Seeing them in pain and suffering from matters of the heart makes me feel very useless. I know that there's nothing that I can do to alleviate the pain that they are going through, and that alone pains me. I just hope that they will be able to get out of their rough patch and be the happy selves that they once were.

My life has been smooth-sailing all my years in S.P. So I thought of dedicating this post to this institution and the friends that have been around me and supporting me along this important phase of my life.

SP is a school that helps in nurturing the future generations and bringing out the best in us! Nevertheless, who ever said that life in Polytechnics is easy ought to be shot. The workload in my course is not making my life a breeze, with tons of projects that pile up my schedule every semester, nothing about life in school is easy or relaxing. But, one thing that is worth commending are the lecturers that always interact with us and treat us like their friends, I still do respect them even though we are that acquainted that we can actually can chat about almost anything under the sun. We don't have that kinda invisible barrier that used to bound us in Primary and Secondary Schools.

My friends were the ones that were there for me when I was caught up with all the family problems and lent me their listening ears or even their shoulders to cry on when I was feeling down and out. They helped me when I felt that everything was crumbling down on me and I thought that I couldn't take it anymore. That's why I say that without friends, I wouldn't be the same Qi that everyone knows.

Naming them in no alphabetical order, I have Peizhen, Ailing, Rin See, Hui Zhen, Renhui, Muhd, Buddy a.k.a. Zi Yang. They were there for me when I needed help. It may be through projects that they helped me, it may also be just the act of asking if I was fine when I looked so lethargic. It may also be the fair share of jokes and merry making that we had, all those scenes are deeply etched within.

Thanks for being there for me when I thought that everything was going to be over. When I failed in anything, you guys were there to encourage me and asked me to move on. I've become who I am today because you guys were there whenever I needed you all. I love ya guys!

To all that have made me laugh or made my day, thanks for being there for me. =)

I know I have been a pretty lousy blogger. I'll be lying if I say that I have absolutely NO time to blog. In between my breaks from deadlines and all, I do have a wee bit of time, but I don't get the motivation or the passion in blogging anymore. Or did I even have any to begin with? Sigh.

Okay, enough of my ranting. For those out there who is curious about my ever-boring life, I am currently still rushing all my deadlines for my projects. I have term tests the following week and ONE exam before I will be free for the holidays. All I want to do now is dig a hole and hide in there, ignoring everything that is happening around me. It has been close to 2 and a half years since I stepped into SP and I suppose I have matured and moved on. My views on issues have changed but I'm sure the childish streak in me is still there. Just did a quiz with reference to Marie Lai's BLOG. HAHA! These are the results.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Taadaa, clever old me decided to post the quiz results up, by doing so gives my post VOLUME. Okay, back to rushing CE CON's tender documents. TILL then! Sayonara!

It has been ages since I took the initiative to actually BLOG about my life. I feel quite bad for leaving this place to rot as it is now.. BUT I am back to REVIVE it alright? =)

My life has been alright, so far so good, I must say. I'm going on to my YEAR 3 NOW! YAY! Old as I may seem, I still feel super young at heart though! Sidetracking, I will be finishing my 7 week attachment at Nan Wah Engineering/Marketing soon! This coming saturday would be my last day at Nan Wah and I am currently having MIXED feelings indeed.

When I first started out at Nan Wah, I was extremely excited and was eagerly anticipating what working life was all about. Was OVER the moon when I knew that Ah Zhen and Eileen was also attached to the same company as me. Boy, was my happiness short-lived, I was transferred to Orchard Towers in the very first week!

Spent close to a week at Orchard Towers, feeling miserable and left out. That was a gruelling experience and I SUFFERED so much from it. Perhaps, the only plus point was the supervisor there! Was transferred back to Changi yet again after spending close to one week at Orchard.

BACK AT CHANGI = I felt super left out!
THEN again, it could be because I wasn't involved in any of the calculations and stuff that they did, it took me about 2 to 3 days to get myself accustomed to the calculations and all once again. Second time back again at Changi, I got to know the people there better and my fellow colleagues are actually a FUNKY bunch of people!

To start the ball rolling, let's start off with the two people that went to the same attachment as me:

Peizhen: THIS SHORTY AND SMARTY, and currently still limping small fella, she is one LAME and tolerable person from my point of view! She is someone who can actually take all my nonsense and allow me to rant and complain all I want to her. THANK god for her presence and of course, not to forget, her LOUD and cheery personality that kinda kept me going for the whole 7 weeks of attachment. I LOVE HER FOR WHO SHE IS, including her loudness, that is, and hope she stays that way! THANKS PEIZHEN!

Eileen: THIS WOMAN AH.. She isn't as serious as she LOOKS! LOOKS can be DECEIVING indeed. She is yet another CRAPPY friend of mine whom, I must say, is also another fun-loving character. She always takes the back seat and watch, WHILST laughing at both Peizhen and I. I BET, she also thinks that we are her source of entertainment for the WHOLE attachment! HEHE! Poor Eileen Liu Yi Lin had to take all my nonsense when our dearest Ah Zhen was on M.C.! THANKS FOR crapping with me all those times girl! =)

ONTO OUR DEAREST COLLEAGUES, (Doubt they will ever see this though..)

WE HAVE FIRST UP: Jenny the NANNY turned MOMMY, which makes it all too FUNNY.

JENNY ONG LI TING! HAHA! This is one funny lady! She is always the one brightening us up for the day. She is EXTREMELY loud and funny! Nothing seems to be able to darken her days, and she is always smiley and all. The office would be extremely quiet if not for her presence, and livening up of the atmosphere. She was OUR NANNY, who turned out to be our Mommy when a customer mistook us for her daughters! And all because of her, I ended up having 3 younger sisters and 2 younger brothers! SIGH. =(
Boy, perhaps this is one person that I will miss when school reopens! SHE SHOULD FEEL HONOURED for having impacted my life alright!

Next up, is JOYCE-EEEEEEEEEEE.

JOYCE LAI! My MAJIE. HAHA! This is another young lady that has made my life in Nan Wah more BEARABLE. She is the one that appears to be COLD and fierce on the outside, but is actually just another YOUNG and crappy individual once she opens up. My dearest Joyce, you must really learn to SMILE more and be more LOUD. I SHALL not forget the fact that you actually DAO-ed me the first time I saw you at BEDOK interchange. YOU would also be dearly missed by meeeee! =)

NEXTTTTTTT, would be my SHI MU. Eve Lim!

EVE (LIM), another one that cares a WHOLE lot about our welfare and such. The motherly figure that would occasionally chat with us to ensure that we are not too miserable working there. She is the one that gives us MOST of the workload though. HAHA! But nonetheless, if not for her, I would have ended up spending most of my time down at Second floor instead of Seven floor! For that, I really have to thank her from the bottom of my heart! HEHE!

There are many other figures in the company that impacted me one way or another. But listing all of them out would take AGES. Just wanna compile all my thanks and state here that I would like to thank each and every one who came into Lim Su-Qi's life and impacted it along the way. Be it teaching me valuable lessons or perhaps just a simple chat with me, I thank all of you.

Because of you guys, I believe I have grown and matured at my own pace and time. You may think that you have not done anything significant or anything huge, but to me, you guys spending time with me and teaching me alongside is really worth my gratitude to you guys. Thanks a whole lot!

*bows*

I have been on my holidays since exams ended, somewhere late August. Results have been back again, this time G.P.A. have dropped yet again. Currently at a cumulative result of slightly above 3. I gotta pull up my socks and bring the grades back up! I was reading my sister's blog just now, dated latest May 2007. Went through her posts, and noticed the pain and grief that she went through was nothing less than what I had went through. Although it's true that we don't get along well as siblings, but I hope we can spend time together as a family. Thinking back on those days when it was noisy and cheery at our dining table.. Although there was constant bickering and poking fun at each other, these all belong to the past. The day Ann left us, part of us left with her too. Typing this post results in an aching heart. Hope that my mood will improve on its own. Sidetracking, blogging about my life, I have been resting and will be heading off the Beijing in 2 days' time. Leaving on the 3rd, which is my brother's 20th birthday. Will be back on the 8th October, night flight. These days, all I have been doing, is reading, watching TVB dramas and resting. Nothing much, just awaiting for Year 2, Semester 2 of my S.P. life to commence. Till then..